Cereal killers, schlock TV and a Tigger tale


I received an email last week that included just two words: Lighten up!

I know my doctor’s email address. It did not come from her. My exercise physiologist? Really, you believed I had one of those? Nor did it come from the person I pay to take in or let out my pants, nor the person tasked with finding extra cushions for my favorite TV chair.

I can only guess it had to do with something I’ve written in recent weeks.

So today, I’ll give it a try.

I’ll lighten up.

But first ….

We had a pretty serious conversation in the Inquirer office Wednesday morning … voices were raised, fists were pounded on desks, tears were shed.

And we weren’t discussing Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump.

But unlike politicians, we came to a basic agreement. We’re not going to solve all the world’s problems, nor problems in Galion. But on Wednesday, in only 15 minutes, we came to a consensus, that there are

Cereal killers in our midst

I don’t know how our discussion turned to food. But if you know anything about me, you’ll not be surprised.

It’s also common knowledge that breakfast items are my favorite: quiche, french toast, bacon, sausage and biscuits, hash, omelets, home fries or hashed browns, french toast, toast with butter and cinnamon, huevos rancheros, chorizo and eggs in a tortilla .. and of course the best breakfast food of all, the Bloody Mary. I had a breakfast in Gatlinburg several years ago that included fresh trout, a couple of over easy eggs, toasted sourdough bread with local raspberry jam, and a wonderfully spicy Bloody Mary. That may have been the best breakfast ever.

Anyway, I digress. This is what we decided.

Fact: Any breakfast cereal that comes with its own sugar supply is better than those that don’t. That means Frosted Mini Wheats are a winner. Lucky Charms are a winner, although one oddball at the Galion Inquirer doesn’t like the marshmallows. My favorite is Special K with Strawberries.

Fact: Slurping up the milk in the bowl remains a treat, no matter how old you are, and is perfectly acceptable, no matter what Miss Manners says. However, if the milk turns an ugly gray or brown because your cereal contains some derivative of chocolate, that’s not acceptable. It’s gross. But pink milk? Perfectly acceptable.

Fact: Adding your own sugar, while frowned upon by health experts, can make a dry, “healthy” cereal more appealing. Sugar and Shredded Wheat is a winner is almost as tasty Frosted Mini Wheats.. You can add a couple tablespoons of sugar to Cheerios or Rice Krispies and their taste is ramped up immensely. And white sugar on Grape Nuts? I’m sorry, but you can’t do much better than a bowl of sugared-up Grape Nuts. Plus when you mention you had a bowl of Grape Nuts for breakfast, you sound like a healthy eater.

All those things, I miss. It’s been four years since I had a bowl of cereal for breakfast, or for a bed-time snack, or sometimes even for a quick lunch.

Like Jerry Seinfeld, my cupboards always had 5 or 6 types of cereal in them: Chex, Honey Nut Cheerios, Honey Bunches of Oats, Rice Krispies, Special K, and of course Grape Nuts, the original, not the generic.

But I had stomach surgery a few years ago, and cereal with milk is the one thing I’ve been unable to introduce back into my diet. I can eat it dry. But it’s not the same. And a couple of tablespoons of sugar on bowl of dry Grape Nuts is really messy to eat. Not that I’ve tried.

So cereal is off my list. I like it. It doesn’t like me.

But I’m doing OK. I don’t know that I’ll ever taste another bowl cereal, and I’m pretty good at improvising. The items you can eat or warm up for breakfast are endless. Cold pizza and orange juice is a delicious taste treat at 5:30 a.m.

Schlock TV is the best

I missed the ending Wednesday night of “Planet of the Sharks.” I was on the edge of my seat, but somehow I fell asleep. What happened.”

Last night was “Ozard Shark,” “Atomic Shark.” and believe it or not, some cheesy movie about a three-headed shark.

Anyway, it’s just a couple days until “Sharknado, the 4th Awakens,” on SyFy. It cames to life Sunday at 8 p.m.

I don’t know who came up with SyFy’s Shark Week marketing campaign, but it’s killer, with bite, and so much fin!

It’s almost as good as AMC’s buildup to Halloween, when I get to watch “Plan Nine from Outerspace;” “The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari;” “Tarantula,” which by the way has a cameo appearance by a then unknown Clint Eastwood; “The Thing from Another World,” with an interesting role by James Arness of “Gunsmoke;” and “The Day the Earth Stood Still,” the original one, not the one starring Keanu Reeves.

Tigger update

Tigger had another good checkup at Galion Veterinary Hospital on Wednesday. That evening, he returned home to Ma and Pa Kent. And he was thrilled. I imagine by now, he’s had hours of belly rubs and head scratches courtesy of Ma and Pa Kent and the grandkids.

This weekend, the cage, the litter box, the extra litter, the cat toys, the extra pillows, a blanket or two, some uneaten cat food and syringes will be removed from Tigger’s home of the last month or so, otherwise known as my bathroom. The floor will be swept and mopped, the cat hair will be removed —- as much as cat hair can be removed — and the shelving will be returned to that room, meaning my computer room will get back to normal.

My life is almost back in order.

Just in time for “Sharknado, the 4th Awakens.”

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Russ Kent

Inquirer Editor

 

Russ Kent is editor of the Galion Inquirer, Morrow County Sentinel and Bellville Star. If you have a comment, story idea, complaint or just want to say hello, email him at [email protected]

 

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