By Rachel Mendell
July 2, 2014
“Why Women Pick Losers and Jerks,” by Jim Hedges, available at CreateSpace.com, Amazon.com, Kindle and Smashwords.com
Loser: n. one who is incompetent or unable to succeed (Webster)
Jerk: n. an annoyingly stupid or foolish person (Webster)
Local author, Jim Hedges, has recently released his first book, “Why Women Pick Losers and Jerks.” The book presents real stories (names have been changed) of women choosing the wrong man and how it creates a mess in their lives. Some of the stories are shocking, but eerily familiar and true.
In his book, Hedges presents some of the warning signs that point to a loser including acts of bullying, having no job or a desire for one, having poor moral values, acting as if he knows everything, is cruel to children or animals, cheats in the relationship, or loves telling stories about himself. He stresses that a loser cannot be changed or fixed, but pulls everyone within his sphere of influence into his universe of bullying and cruelty.
He also shares some of the reasons why some women are drawn to losers and jerks including insecurity, feelings of inadequacy, the hope of “fixing” the loser, meeting men in the wrong places, inadvertently continuing the cycle of abuse, drawn to danger, addicted to drama or reliance on someone else’s money.
In his book Hedges states: “If you or a friend pick the players, the drug dealers/users, the ones with no plan, no job, no home, no car, the control freaks, the abusers, someone that plans to live off you and your money, or just plain treats a lady like crap – this book is for you.”
After exploring the whys of picking a loser or a jerk, Hedges offers advice and resources for getting out of the damaging relationship including victim assistance and counseling, getting new friends, moving out of state, starting a new life, and joining a support group.
This book is down to earth, easy to read and understand and straightforward in its mission to wake women up (and men, for that matter), especially if they are in a bad relationship. Hedges presents research, but just enough to clarify his points. Part of the book explains bullying and the signs that point to someone who is a bully and someone who is being bullied. Even with all the information and help available to everyone, the problem of bullying seems to grow and permeate every part of our lives, not just the playground.
As I read the book, I found myself thinking of classmates who were in bad relationships. I also remembered a few of my own youthful relationships that fit these descriptions. Yes, I dated a few losers and jerks. Fortunately, I had friends and family that steered me in the right direction and helped me get out. This book can do that for you.
If you know anyone who has a loved one trapped in a bad relationship, read this book, then buy this book for them and buy extra copies for their friends. Hedges clears away the gray area of maybe-things-will-get-better and lays it on the line: This is a bad relationship. Now, run!