Ask Aunt Abby - Socks
Aunt Abby: I hesitate to write to you, because my problem sounds very strange. My friends shun me now and there is nothing to lose. So, here it is. The problem is socks.
“Socks?” You say.
“Yes, that’s the issue. When you stop snickering, I will tell my tale. Ready?”
You know how a thought flitters across your mind and just as quickly disappears. Then one day the nagging feeling explodes into full paranoia. The laundry room becomes an unspeakable place of terror. You can’t go in there, but you must! Your family is counting on you. Their laundry is piling higher and you’re starting to not smell so fresh either.
How did it get so bad? Am I losing my mind? Unanswered questions run through my tortured brain. Fear is my new bedfellow. Socks are haunting even my dreams.
My dilemma started out harmless enough. Like most people, at least one sock gets away every time the laundry is done. It has become an unpleasant fact, what goes in as a pair, comes out as only one. No matter how much you search, the little buggar is nowhere to be found. Weeks, months, and years may go by before a sock magically reappears in many a curious place. Who knows where, why and how their excursions begin.
Anyway, the mystery, I am alluding to, started a few months ago. I dried a load of socks, folded them together, and reached in to get the last lonely sock. To my great surprise: It wasn’t there! The dryer was empty! Every sock had its mate! I couldn’t believe my luck. This has never happened before. Imagine my surprise, when the same thing happened the next time and the next… I didn’t understand, but I would joyfully accept it.
Eventually, I noticed not only were all pairs accounted for, but also they were positioned in the dryer closer together each time. About a month ago, they started laying out in pairs just an inch or so from their mates. What can this mean? — Socks Tobeme in Ohio
Dear Socks: It sounds like a bizarre ritual that we humans cannot understand. I will ask my experts if they ever came upon this kind of problem. Meanwhile, observe them closely and write me back next week. I care.- Sincerely, Aunt Abby
P.S. Leave the lights on when you go to bed.
Ask Aunt Abby is a creation of writer Debra Shafer.